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What if Technology Could Talk - Part 2

MaxNoSleeves Follow
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  • 4 years ago
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  • 54 comments
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What if technology could talk pt 2
Netflix Thank you for purchasing a Netflix subscription. I don’t know how you’re watching 4 different shows in 4 different cities simultaneously, but I am impressed.
Dude relax you know with out me and my buddy you’d never get laid.
You want one more episode? Nah I got a get to sleep. Yea you want one more episode. Here I’ll just play it for you – No, I’m good. SIT DOWN
Hey you watched House Hunters!? ?You’ll probably like Saw 7
Hey so… are you alive? Or are you just laying in a pile of your own filth… what? OH heyy hey! What up bro here’s another season of pawn stars Hulu Plus
I swear I’m just as good as Netflix! No see because no don’t please don’t! [closes computer] iTunes
Hey I need to update again Sorry I need to update again One more update! Last one I promise Yea.. gonna update… and I fucked everything up what are all these songs? They don’t appear to be downloaded legally
yea your’e right 99 cents is way too much for an app you’re going to use everyday. Tell me more about that $6 frappuccino you got there. Chrome Yea… I’m going to fuck up your whole computer… but I look pretty right? Twitter Here check out what really important celebrities have to say Jaden smith tweets Instagram
Eating food (ah ah! Don’t you want a quick pic of that?)
That’s what you look like when you exercise? Let’s throw a filter on that
(selfie) Yea you’re gonna want a filter on that one
Want to see a meme from 2 weeks ago?
You’ve heard of vine right? 6 second videos.. well this is going to blow it out of the water… 15 second videos…. What about 30 second videos, or 1 minute videos? Or 4 minute videos? Something about amy Hey we have video too! But it’s 15 seconds long… so that’s like 2.5 times better than vine right? Hey come back
Snapchat
Wanna see some tits? Yea! Hahah JUST KIDDING here’s all your friends throwing up gang signs
Hey he screenshotted HE SCREENSHOTTED!!! No I didn’t! I swear Easy creep
Im gonna need 20 percent of your battery right now
Wait.. this is going to disappear right? Yea yea all these pics are temporary I swear
Linkedin
hey congratulate your friend on his new job! Cool what’s his new job? Well looks like he’s working at unemployed right now. How cool is that?
Vine
Here’s something funny! Now here’s 12 things ripping off a jokes from 2 years ago
Want to see a joke from 2 years ago?
Pinterest
Um ok well you’re almost there… now we’re just going to want to glue the … ok no don’t do that umm
Why do you have a gluestick? We’re making brownies
Just stop. Just stop you’re going to kill yourself
Facebook
Hey have you seen this buzzfeed article?
Your aunt wants to send you an article from 2 years ago about a kat
Here’s a meme about being successful from your least successful friends
Hey you know who you should be friends with? Your ex girlfriend! Oh and your girlfriend’s ex boyfriend!
Pandora
Oh you want this specific song? Great! We’re going to play a song that has nothing the fuck do do with that song
We are now ad free listening to Pandora one on ad free mode – with zero ads because Pandora One is ad free thanks for purchasing Pandora one.
Thank you for selecting Eminem radio. Well here’s a shitload of Nickleback Oh I like this song oh soot I hit skip can I go back “hahahhahah NEVER” do you want the lyrics to this song? It’s Mozart… Yea bro we got you YouTube i see you sent an email to your mom about sneakers.. .now here’s 20 videos about sneakers. Ugh this video is going to take forever to load… but here’s a perfect ad in super high def! 25 second video? Cool here’s a 30 second ad
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